Many individuals seeking counselling ask a painful and confusing question:
“Is my partner a narcissist?”
While not every emotionally harmful partner meets the diagnostic criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), narcissism is fundamentally defined by interpersonal dysfunction, particularly within intimate relationships.
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), narcissism is characterised by exaggerated self-importance, lack of empathy, and antagonistic interpersonal behaviour (American Psychiatric Association, 2013). These traits often cause the greatest harm in close, emotionally bonded relationships.

Narcissism and Its Impact on Intimate Relationships

Research has consistently linked narcissistic traits to behaviours that interfere with healthy romantic relationships, such as:
Vengefulness and hostility (Brown, 2004)
Domineering and vindictive behaviour (Ogrodniczuk et al., 2009)
Interpersonal aggression (Reidy, Foster, & Zeichner, 2010)
Studies also show that individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder frequently cause significant emotional distress to their partners, often leaving them confused, anxious, and emotionally depleted (Miller, Campbell, & Pilkonis, 2007).
In counselling sessions with survivors of narcissistic relationships in Kerala, commitment issues and emotional neglect are among the most commonly reported concerns.

Common Relationship Patterns in Narcissistic Dynamics

1. IIntense Beginning Followed by Emotional Withdrawal
   Many narcissistic relationships begin with:
   1)Excessive attention
   2)Grand gestures
   3)Strong emotional bonding
   Over time, this intense effort fades. The partner may become emotionally unavailable, inconsistent, or self-focused, leaving the other person feeling abandoned and confused.
2. One-Sided Emotional Needs
   Individuals with narcissistic traits often:
   1)Overvalue their own needs and emotions
   2)Dismiss or invalidate their partner’s feelings
   3)When concerns are raised, they may perceive them as criticism or threat, responding with anger, withdrawal, or blame rather than empathy.
3. The “Chocolate Cake Model” of Narcissistic Abuse
   Campbell (2005) described the experience of partners of narcissistic individuals using the “chocolate cake model.”
   Initially, the relationship feels rewarding and satisfying
   Over time, emotional overconsumption leads to distress
   The partner experiences overwhelming and unpleasant emotions instead of fulfilment
   Many clients describe feeling emotionally drained, anxious, and unsure of themselves.

Need for Admiration and Lack of Commitment

A strong need for admiration is central to narcissism. This may be fulfilled through:
1)Emotional exploitation
2)Boundary violations
3)Seeking validation outside the relationship
Commitment often remains inconsistent ranging from neglecting meaningful gestures (such as birthdays or emotional presence) to more serious issues like emotional or sexual infidelity.

Emotional Abuse and Psychological Manipulation

Partners often report experiences such as:
1)Constant questioning of their thoughts and emotions
2)Gaslighting and invalidation
3)Being made to feel “too sensitive” or “at fault”
When shortcomings are pointed out, narcissistic partners may respond by:
1)Undermining their partner’s self-worth
2)Devaluing their abilities and identity
3)Avoiding accountability
IThe phases of narcissistic rivalry, individuals may strive for superiority through demeaning, hostile, arrogant, or aggressive behaviour, lacking empathy, trust, and forgiveness.

Is It Narcissism or Narcissistic Abuse?

A formal diagnosis can only be made by a qualified mental health professional. However, a diagnosis is not required to acknowledge harm.
If a relationship involves:
1)Chronic emotional invalidation
2lFear of expressing needs
3)Persistent self-doubt
4)Psychological manipulation
5)Loss of emotional safety
Then that relationship is not safe

Counselling and Therapy Services for Narcissistic Abuse in Kerala

Survivors of narcissistic relationships often require specialised, trauma-informed counselling to heal from emotional and psychological harm.
Our Counselling Services in Kerala Focus On:
1)Recovery from narcissistic abuse
2)Emotional regulation and trauma healing
3)Rebuilding self-worth and self-trust
4)Understanding abusive relationship patterns
5)Boundary setting and relationship clarity
6)Support for anxiety, depression, and relationship trauma
We provide confidential counselling services in Kerala, including online and in-person therapy, tailored to individuals affected by emotionally abusive and toxic relationships.

You Deserve Support and Healing
If you are questioning your relationship, feeling emotionally unsafe, or doubting your reality, your experience is valid.
Healing is not about diagnosing your partner —

it is about protecting your mental health and reclaiming emotional balance.
Professional counselling can help you gain clarity, strength, and emotional stability

Seeking Counselling in Kerala?

If you are experiencing narcissistic abuse or emotional distress in your relationship, reach out for professional support. Trauma-informed therapy can help you move forward with confidence and self-compassion.

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